What a waste

No, not just this blog. My life. What a waste. What am I really doing with my life? I'm doing nothing that i wanted to do by 23; i'm working at starbucks, now for really no reason since the biggest reason i started working there was to have benefits; i'm going to seminary for what? i'm in the middle of applying to grad school why? i live with my mom which is a complete disaster, but can't afford to live anywhere else; i thought i was supposed to do career missions in the future, but now really have no clue; not sure if i even really want to do music therapy, but i'm doing it anyway because i need the money; i feel like i would love it if i was actually serving the people that i want to serve, but i can't right now because i'm too busy to do anything besides what i have to do for work; i'm sick of living this life.... for some reason right now it seems meaningless. I know it's not. I know He gives my life meaning. He is the reason for me even living right now. My life is meant to glorify Him. Ok. I know this. But what is it that is going to glorify Him? I have no direction. I have no clue where to go from here in order to glorify Him most. I want to find joy in the purpose He has for this life of mine. I'm not happy. I know He does not exist to make me happy. I am not one of those people who say, "God wants me to be happy." I know that is not His chief purpose. But doesn't He want me to find joy in the things He has designed for me to do? Then why do I not like my life right now? Right now... really for the past year. I feel like I'm doing nothing that I want to be doing. I want to be doing what He wants me to be doing. Is this really it? Then I should be content with it. Is it something else? Then show me!!!! Why is it that the only time I'm really happy is when I'm singing to Him or shoveling concrete in some foreign country for a family that has nothing, but everything at the same time? I love Him, I love music, I want to serve Him through music. I want to serve His people using music. But what does this mean exactly? I need a man. LOL. I need a biblical husband in my life to give me some leadership! Chip, I hope you're working on that list for me! Too bad my heart has been drawn to a man for a very long time and he couldn't care less about my existence! Right now I'm pushing myself in so many different directions, that I don't know which way is up. I just desire that the Lord would give me definite direction for the here and now. I trust Him with my life and my future, and I know that His plans for me are to give me hope and those plans will all end up good in the long run, but do I trust Him with my immediate future?